The Masks I Wore to Survive (And How They Broke Me)

max murphy? more like mask murphy

Hi, I’m an existential imbecile named Max Murphy. Here on The Murphy Memos we explore the absurdity of existence with crappy cartoons.

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Once upon a time, I wrote about how every human wears a social mask — a kind of costume stitched from insecurity, survival instinct, and that famous Kafka quote. It’s how we make sense of the world and how we act around other people.

This one’s different. This time I’m not talking in the abstract. I’m walking you through my personal mask museum.¹

We’re going in chronological order, I’ll tell you what each mask gave me, what it took from me, and then I’ll point on the doll where it hurt me.

white trash—

Growing up poor in a rough part of New York, you learn fast that softness gets eaten alive.

My dad raised me to always be ready to fight. I wore this mask because if I didn’t, someone would beat my ass down.

Better to be feared than loved when you’re twelve years old and surrounded by wolves.

I remember walking through crowded halls with my best friend, an Albanian immigrant who was older and stronger than everyone else. We’d lock arms and just plow through piles of kids on our way to class.

It felt badass.

Earned me respect.

Respect is a helluva drug.

But this mask runs on battery acid. Being feared is exhausting. Survival rewires you, and you never fully unplug.

A lot of poor boys learn this mask young, because poverty teaches that kindness is liability, tenderness is bait.

If you’re white trash — especially a man — you choose to be feared because love isn’t really an option for people like us.

Or, so the story goes.

Final Rating:

⭐⭐☆☆☆ — Effective for survival, but terrible long-term side effects.

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